He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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