I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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