Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
