sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
