If that was your dad, he is hot
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
