Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize