Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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