that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You smell like stripper and shame
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize