then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
