if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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