note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
