its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize