found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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