problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
