Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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