I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
