she looked like the before picture.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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