i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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