worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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