I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
