Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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