the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
