All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
