tell your sister to shave her snatch
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
