one two three fourrrrnication!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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