Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize