Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
