Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
