I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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