Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
