We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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