i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
