It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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