I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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