I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
