Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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