Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize