I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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