u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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