i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
