Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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