Dual....:-)
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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