I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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