i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
