Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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