Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
