sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
