its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
