If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
