his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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