A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
