To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
