when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
no you cant smoke seaweed
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
