so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Its about making memories worth repressing
im having a threesome with these popsicles
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
