Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
