I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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