If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
