nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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