His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
