just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize