Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
