Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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