I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
